I realized that there is such a huge community of bloggers out there these last few days and I love it. I LOVE reading random blogs I find. So, please don't mind if I left you some weird stalker messages over the last few days, I am not purposefully being a creeper, I am just so excited about blogging and love meeting new people! I also don't know how to follow people yet, but once figure that out I am going to start following you all!

Today: 2:15am (well it was when I started writing this post. I am not the fastest writer in the world)
Feeling: Nostalgic

All this blogging and meeting new people thing, is making me remember how difficult it used to be in the past for me to make friends. Maybe others in a situation similar to mine can relate to a time when being so different didn't really make you popular.

My parents both moved to the States after they got married, and I was born here in the US. They are amazing parents (Alhamdulillah) but sometimes the things they did made for SUPER awkward situations. For example for lunch my mom would pack me a hearty Indian meal comprising of spicy shaami kebab sandwiches, tomato chutney, and even some mango juice.  I know it may sound appetizing now but smelling like shaami all day didn't really help my friend situation. Anyway, I know it could have been much worse, my cousin's mother actually used to rub coconut oil in her hair before sending her off to school. We all laugh about it now, including the parents.

High school came, I started wearing hijab when I was 11 and I still didn't really discover how to tie it in a (clean?) way. My hair didn't show but it just looked large and bulky and it was always the same color (bright white). I had glasses, a single eyebrow, and to top it off braces too. (I am painting a pretty picture aren't I?) I bought clothes from the boys section because they were baggier. I was an introvert, didn't have friends, was painfully shy, and socially awkward (and that is putting it kindly). Embarrassing confession: I remember times when I would come home from school, pray and then make dua  to Allah (swt) for friends.

In undergrad Allah (swt) answered my prayers. I got contacts, the braces came off, I discovered that they made hijabs in a rainbow of colors, and they have a girls section in every store. It finally clicked that if I needed friends I would have to actually, you know, speak to people (surprising revelation, i know). I remember seeing another girl in hijab in one of my classes and I used to do the creepiest thing, (we laugh about this now but I can just imagine how weird I must have been) I would just STARE at her, throughout the entire class period, just stare. I did this for days until I finally got the courage to speak with her, except she would always run out of class early. Later I found out that the reason she would run out of class early was so that she could avoid me, I know that it may sound mean, but trust me I would have run away from my creepy self too. I was persistent and our paths met and I made my first and best friend. (It ONLY took me 17 years to get one, well not counting my mom). I do still do the creepy staring thing sometimes to people I don't know (maybe if I start smiling when I stare at them and add in a wink it would make it less creepy???) Plus, how do you think I met my husband-more on that later.

I don't know if randomly posting on people's blogs is the equivalent of me creepily staring at people. I still haven't learned blogging etiquette and I won't be offended if someone tells me I am being creepy. :)

Now that I am almost done with grad school, life has come full circle, and I noticed that I am going back to being a hermit. Friends have all moved away and my husband and I only hang out with each other (I realized that I prefer that now too). It turns out that my husband is just as awkward as I am, with a very similar story growing up. Is this just specific to us or can anyone else chime in with a like minded experience?

I guess life is funny like that.